SpikeTheLobsterYo' Gramma's Punctuation
February 8th 2009 00:24
Ah, the quotes!
In writing, there are few subjects which will cause as much emotional debate as punctuation and grammar. It's a never-ending discourse, frequently based on the same opposing arguments: on the one hand, the "old-school" writers who believe we should punctuate properly and structure sentences according to strict rules; on the other, the folks who believe language is an ever-changing mish-mash of current conventions and should adapt and change as life dictates.
Punctuation has been around since the year Dot. The Greeks began using it as a means of helping actors: little marks were made on scripts to indicate where to pause. The Romans did a similar thing. With the advent of mass-publication in the West, the system was standardised and, over the years, elaborated.
You may not be overly fond of apostrophes, may dislike hyphens and have an almost violent hatred of semi-colons: it's irrelevant. If you cannot string words together in a reasonably understandable and grammatically acceptable fashion, you're unlikely to see your work in print. If you cannot punctuate, few will read - it's simply too much effort.
Most authors are familiar with the panda joke - "Eats, shoots and leaves" - which gave the title to the rather excellent book on punctuation. Instead of rehashing that particular piece of humour as a reason to write properly, try this instead: think about what your brain does when you read something. The words go in through your eyes and wallow around until all the little synapses fire and decipher it. When a sentence is constructed properly and punctuated correctly, your brain has a lot less work to do.
Which of the following is easier to understand?
"I came to a fence and, vaulting over, found myself in a muddy field. A small herd of cows regarded my arrival, but soon returned to grazing."
or
"I came to a fence and vaulting over found myself in a muddy field, a small herd of cows regarded my arrival but soon returned to grazing."
They're both understandable: the first is simply quicker, easier and clearer. So, whichever side of the grammar/punctuation debate is closer to your heart, there is one thing that all writers should remember: publishers won't like your work if you write like e.e.cummings - unless it's poetry!
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