Dialogue Do's and Don'ts
February 18th 2013 21:30
Today’s readers grow up with television, a medium that consists of all dialogue and action and no introspection. Because of this, many readers look for passages of dialogue and skim over long passages of narrative when reading novels. As an avid category romance reader from Texas once put it, “I skip anything that isn’t dialogue or sex.” To please the majority of readers, then, your novel should contain more dialogue than narrative.
In addition, to be effective, your dialogue must serve a specific purpose in each scene. It should reveal character, further the plot, or help establish the setting or ambience. Consider the following example:
“I ain’t lettin’ no city gal fresh off the stage marry the man I been plannin’ all my life to marry. Jeff Cassidy is mine, and by gum, I aim to keep him.”
What does this passage of dialogue reveal about the character’s goal? What does it tell you about the obstacle to her goal? What does it tell you about the character’s educational level? What does it tell you about the character’s social status or socioeconomic class? What does it tell you about the character’s personality? Is she, for example, feisty and determined or shy and subdued? What era and geographical setting does this passage of dialogue bring to mind? This one short line of dialogue reveals character, furthers the plot (the speaker obviously has competition for the man she desires), and establishes setting (the word stage indicates a historical novel, probably set in the American west).
Each line of dialogue in your story, however, doesn’t have to serve all three purposes. One is sufficient. Consider this example of a dialogue exchange between two characters:
“The woman you buried two years ago wasn’t your sister.”
“We paid for a funeral for someone else? We should be reimbursed.”
The first line furthers the plot and brings an interesting complication and raises all sorts of questions. If they didn’t bury the sister, who did they bury? Where’s the sister now, and how did a stranger get in her grave? The second line in the passage reveals character. The speaker is obviously materialistic, perhaps even a tightwad, and probably not very fond of the sister. Did he or she have something to do with the disappearance of the sister, or even with the death of the woman mistakenly buried for her? Again, the line raises lots of questions in the mind of the reader, questions which propel her to read more. Consider another example:
“Señor, I do not feel safe in your casa. Too many people know I am here and that I witnessed the presidente’s murder. I want to fly back to Madrid tonight. Take me to the airport.”
This example both furthers the plot (the speaker has witnessed a murder) and reveals character and helps establish setting. The speaker is obviously Hispanic and from Madrid. Use of Spanish words in the dialogue passage help establish the character’s ethnicity and geographical background as well as the ambience of the story. It’s not clear from this brief passage whether the story is set in Spain or not, but the passage gives a definite Spanish flavor to the story.
Notice that none of the examples I have given in this lesson so far include attributes like said, declared, whispered, etc. and none of them include character names or actions and reactions. I did this deliberately to illustrate an important point: strong dialogue can stand alone.
Consider this example:
“I hate you!” Cynthia screamed furiously.
The adverb furiously is redundant and can easily be dropped from the line. “I hate you” implies fury or anger. The author doesn’t need to hit the reader over the head with the emotions behind the words. Likewise, the word screamed is redundant in this passage. The exclamation point after the word you indicates that the dialogue is spoken with greater force and volume, i.e. greater emphasis, than a usual line of dialogue. In addition, the word hate is a word that would be spoken with strong emotions and in a loud tone. The author does not need to reinforce what the dialogue itself already says. This passage could be simplified to:
“I hate you!”
It could also have an action tag added to it:
Janet hurled a plate against the wall, narrowly missing Damon’s head. “I hate you!”
The character action of hurling the plate is a matter of author preference. The dialogue can stand alone, but it doesn’t detract from it to add this tag.
Does your character have a trade phrase? If so, use it in his or her dialogue to further depict the character. Think of Fonzie on Happy Days and his “heyyyyyyyyyyy.” Think of Gomer Pyle and his, “Shazaam!” Think of Jimmy Walker on Good Times with his, “Dynomite!” Think of Arnold Drummond and his, “Whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis?”
Pro Tip One: Dialogue equals pacing. When you want to speed up the pacing of your novel, use dialogue. Conversely, when you want to slow down the pacing of your novel, use narrative.
Pro Tip Two: Read your dialogue aloud to see if it sounds natural and to make sure each character sounds unique.
In addition, to be effective, your dialogue must serve a specific purpose in each scene. It should reveal character, further the plot, or help establish the setting or ambience. Consider the following example:
“I ain’t lettin’ no city gal fresh off the stage marry the man I been plannin’ all my life to marry. Jeff Cassidy is mine, and by gum, I aim to keep him.”
What does this passage of dialogue reveal about the character’s goal? What does it tell you about the obstacle to her goal? What does it tell you about the character’s educational level? What does it tell you about the character’s social status or socioeconomic class? What does it tell you about the character’s personality? Is she, for example, feisty and determined or shy and subdued? What era and geographical setting does this passage of dialogue bring to mind? This one short line of dialogue reveals character, furthers the plot (the speaker obviously has competition for the man she desires), and establishes setting (the word stage indicates a historical novel, probably set in the American west).
Each line of dialogue in your story, however, doesn’t have to serve all three purposes. One is sufficient. Consider this example of a dialogue exchange between two characters:
“The woman you buried two years ago wasn’t your sister.”
“We paid for a funeral for someone else? We should be reimbursed.”
The first line furthers the plot and brings an interesting complication and raises all sorts of questions. If they didn’t bury the sister, who did they bury? Where’s the sister now, and how did a stranger get in her grave? The second line in the passage reveals character. The speaker is obviously materialistic, perhaps even a tightwad, and probably not very fond of the sister. Did he or she have something to do with the disappearance of the sister, or even with the death of the woman mistakenly buried for her? Again, the line raises lots of questions in the mind of the reader, questions which propel her to read more. Consider another example:
“Señor, I do not feel safe in your casa. Too many people know I am here and that I witnessed the presidente’s murder. I want to fly back to Madrid tonight. Take me to the airport.”
This example both furthers the plot (the speaker has witnessed a murder) and reveals character and helps establish setting. The speaker is obviously Hispanic and from Madrid. Use of Spanish words in the dialogue passage help establish the character’s ethnicity and geographical background as well as the ambience of the story. It’s not clear from this brief passage whether the story is set in Spain or not, but the passage gives a definite Spanish flavor to the story.
Notice that none of the examples I have given in this lesson so far include attributes like said, declared, whispered, etc. and none of them include character names or actions and reactions. I did this deliberately to illustrate an important point: strong dialogue can stand alone.
Consider this example:
“I hate you!” Cynthia screamed furiously.
The adverb furiously is redundant and can easily be dropped from the line. “I hate you” implies fury or anger. The author doesn’t need to hit the reader over the head with the emotions behind the words. Likewise, the word screamed is redundant in this passage. The exclamation point after the word you indicates that the dialogue is spoken with greater force and volume, i.e. greater emphasis, than a usual line of dialogue. In addition, the word hate is a word that would be spoken with strong emotions and in a loud tone. The author does not need to reinforce what the dialogue itself already says. This passage could be simplified to:
“I hate you!”
It could also have an action tag added to it:
Janet hurled a plate against the wall, narrowly missing Damon’s head. “I hate you!”
The character action of hurling the plate is a matter of author preference. The dialogue can stand alone, but it doesn’t detract from it to add this tag.
Does your character have a trade phrase? If so, use it in his or her dialogue to further depict the character. Think of Fonzie on Happy Days and his “heyyyyyyyyyyy.” Think of Gomer Pyle and his, “Shazaam!” Think of Jimmy Walker on Good Times with his, “Dynomite!” Think of Arnold Drummond and his, “Whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis?”
Pro Tip One: Dialogue equals pacing. When you want to speed up the pacing of your novel, use dialogue. Conversely, when you want to slow down the pacing of your novel, use narrative.
Pro Tip Two: Read your dialogue aloud to see if it sounds natural and to make sure each character sounds unique.
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